A Tall Order
by punkydoodle
Summary: Very AU. Brienne of Tarth returns Jamie Lannister to his family in King's Landing in time for the culmination of Sansa's turbulent engagement to Joffrey. In the mean time, Tywin arranges for his son Tyrion to wed "the highest of highborn ladies." My first fic! Please read and review! Brienne/Tyrion, Sansa/Joffrey, Cersei/Jamie.


Jamie Lannister raised his head skywards as he passed through the gates of the Red Keep. He would have taken in a deep breath to release a sigh of relief if the stench of King's Landing didn't linger beyond the walls of its mighty castle. Although he never truly let his guard down, he did so for a fleeting moment as the horse being led by Brienne of Tarth trotted through the courtyard towards the small crowd assembling before him.

_Cersei._

His eyes flitted across the faces of those gathered before him, searching wildly for the golden-haired members of his family. He had lost track of how many months had gone by since he had last seen them all together. As he drew closer, he realized that all who were present, from lords and ladies to soldiers and servants, were complete strangers to him.

Just as he was about to submit to the thought that perhaps some of his loved ones had indeed been slaughtered in Stannis Baratheon's attempted invasion of King's Landing, he made out the distinctive form of his younger brother hobbling towards them. The angry gash across Tyrion's face gave Jamie pause. Had Tyrion actually fought in the battle?

"You resemble the appearance of death warmed over, dear brother," Tyrion called out as Brienne brought the horse to a halt.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you've grown in my absence, _little_ brother," Jamie shot back, grinning. Tyrion grinned back. Clearly, the two had missed verbally sparring with each other.

"The Starks are legendary for their hospitality in regards to prisoners of war. However, they tend to forget their graces when said prisoner is accused of attempting to assassinate one of their children." Tyrion stated, his eyes flashing momentarily with malice.

Jamie shook his head. If he had only known that pushing that stupid little boy out the window would nearly tear apart the whole of Westeros, he might not have acted so rashly. He knew from Tyrion's tone that his brother still bore a chip on his shoulder for being accused and tried for Jamie's crime.

"A mistake that I nearly paid for with my own life. Good thing Lady Catelyn had the foresight to release me before her son's soldiers could do me in."

Tyrion's eyes widened in shock. "She freed you? Under what terms?"

"My lady wishes that you release her daughters into my custody, in exchange for the safe return of your brother," Brienne stated flatly.

Not expecting the voice of a woman to issue from the towering behemoth before him, Tyrion's attention swiftly turned to Brienne. Unable to mask his sudden amazement, Brienne removed her helm and sneered down at the cowering dwarf, knowing full well that her sheer size brought him great unease.

"Forgive me, my lady. I do not believe we are acquainted." Tyrion bowed politely as he introduced himself.

Jamie looked back and forth between the two, suppressing the urge to chuckle. Struck by the realization that he was currently in the presence of what had to be both the tallest woman and the shortest man in the realm, Jamie climbed down off of the horse to introduce his warden.

"This. . . handsome woman is known as Brienne of Tarth. She is a virgin warrior whom no man has been able to successfully conquer. I'd recruit her to the King's Guard if they wouldn't send me straight to the maesters to heal my insanity."

"I serve Lady Catelyn. Not Lannister pretenders to the Iron Throne-"

"You'll be serving the crows your eyes and face if you express such sentiments in the presence of other members of the King's court. Clearly, I don't believe you deserve to have your head placed on a spike, but as his uncle I can attest that his cruelty has been extended to his subjects for far less insults." Tyrion interrupted.

"I have no fear of any man, be him a king or a spoilt boy playing at one." Brienne asserted.

"You are indeed courageous, my lady. However, sometimes cowardice can be mistaken for prudence, and you will need that here in King's Landing if you wish to keep your head about you."

Tyrion's warning sounded genuine, not like a scolding that a man would give a foolish girl bent on her own course of self-destruction. Brienne forced herself to hold back what she wanted to say next, remembering the business that she was sent to accomplish.

"Where are you keeping the Stark girls, and may I see them? I wish to write to Lady Catelyn to verify my success in this matter."

"We currently only have possession of the eldest one. Little Arya disappeared like a wolf in the night when her traitor father stood against Joffery's ascent to the Iron Throne. The Gold Cloaks have been searching , but alas, no trace of her has been discovered. "

"And what of Sansa Stark?" Brienne's patience for courtesies was wearing thin. Sensing this, Tyrion gestured towards the Red Keep as he began to make his way towards the Great Hall.

"She is to wed Joffery in a matter of days. You've arrived just in time to witness their royal nuptials." Tyrion forced his legs to work double time, knowing that his companions would outpace him shortly.

"Not if I can help it." Brienne stalked forward, quickly catching up to Tyrion.

"And what about me?" Jamie called out to them from behind.

"Were you expecting a hero's welcome? In case you haven't noticed, we're quite busy with repairing our fortifications after Stannis saw fit to destroy them. For now, I'm fairly certain that you should follow us. Father will be happy to know that his golden boy has returned to us. And I'm sure our sister wishes to convey her joy at your miraculous homecoming." Tyrion shouted back.

Tyrion and Brienne continued forward as Jamie remained rooted to the spot. He wondered if this would be a happy reunion, or if his sudden return would result in more trouble. Realizing that the only way to find out was to follow his brother and Brienne, Jamie slowly made his way forward, taking the time to stretch his legs and enjoy walking as a free man.


End file.
